Cancer is scary. I think I said that before! And you will spend a lot of time thinking about it. And you should. Denial is not your friend anymore.
But, you need to give yourself a break, think about other things. In this case, technology is your friend. One word - podcasts. My husband bought me an iPod and everyweek I fill it. Then I turn on the iPod, turn off my brain and just listen. Listen to what is happening anywhere, everywhere else.
NPR is a huge source - Fresh Air, All Things Considered, All Songs Considered, Story of the Day, World Story of the Day.... CBC is a good resource for humour. Laugh Out Loud saves me some days. And Vinyl Cafe is an old friend that gives me a nice sense of normal on stressful mornings. Wire Tap is a great new find. And Eli Glasner On Film keeps me in touch with the movies I'm not seeing. Tavis Smiley's PBS podcast is a comforting friend. And I can lose an hour relearning long forgotten conjugation skills with French Verb Drills.
Be sure to check out Radio Lab, How Stuff Works, TED Talks, Old Jews Telling Jokes, BBC Desert Island Discs and the World in Words. For everything that interests you, there is a podcast. Audio and video. Cooking lessons to yoga. Current events to science breakthroughs. See what works for you. It's all free, except for the initial outlay for an iPod.
Podcasts have given me much more stress relief than relaxation cds or classical music. I turn them on and walk for hours, squishing the cancer cells with each step I take. And I turn them on late at night, when I cannot sleep and my brain aches with fear. In a moment, I am transported...out of my head and back into the world. I like it there.